I always thought ‘swami amma’ was immortal - 01

There wasn’t even a speck of divinity in her. She was the first saint I have seen who was completely devoid of all divinity.

During my LL.B years in Trivandrum I once went to meet late abc swami. I was accompanying Tapsyananda swami. We were called into his room and sat on comfortable chairs. The room had mahagani furniture, book shelves and swami sat on a corporate chair. I glanced through the book shelves. From what I remember today, I remember seeing only oxford dictionaries in those shelves. They weren’t the single volume editions but the most comprehensive dictionaries I have ever seen and never seen after. Letter A itself ran into various volumes. Paying no attention to the discussion in the room I was trying to figure out which letter had the most volumes. Drinks came in which interrupted my research. It was served in big glasses the ones you will find in a typical juice shop in Kerala. The drink resembled juice too.

I took a sip and loved the taste. The taste was similar to ayurvedic medicine genre arishtam. I doubted alcohol content in it. It tasted very good. I looked at Tapasyananda swami. He was sipping it as if it was hot coffee. There should be alcohol in it, I thought.

abc swami talked on the origin of the drink. I can’t remember what exactly prompted Devi to come to his dreams but gave him the recipe for this magical drink. The drink has medicinal powers. There are too many details which I can’t remember today and I doubt it had alcohol content.

I finished off my drink, offered help to Tapasyananda swami and went back to my research. My wondering eyes would have annoyed abc swami. I felt as if somebody is staring at me and to my astonishment I realized that swami was actually looking at me. He had just finished on the origin of the drink. I asked, “So there is a speck of divinity in it, isn’t it?” I asked him in English. With all those volumes of oxford dictionaries around me, Malayalam suddenly became too inferior to use. I can’t remember whether he smiled to it but he answered in English, “Not a speck of it ; whole of it”. I loved it. It would have made a perfect advertisement line. I just imagined me on a bill board with my girlfriend leaning on me and the caption said, “Not a speck of it; whole of it”. An energy drink adv or should that be a? I was confused because I was drunk.

abc swami asked my name. I answered. He gestured me to come closer. I stood from my chair and went near him. With the thumb of his foot he pressed the thumb of my foot. It didn’t pain but I felt uncomfortable. He placed the thumbs of his hand on two sides of my forehead and pressed. I looked at him and smiled. He pressed it further. It was neither painful nor uncomfortable. I felt as if my mind went blank. Perfect blackout; just gone from the material world. He took his fingers and asked me to open my mouth. He put some bhasmam (vibhoothi) into my mouth and asked me to swallow which I did. I became perfect. This wouldn’t mean that I was imperfect a while ago. I became normal. I wasn’t drunk any more but my mind got filled with temptations to drink that drink more. With just one glass I became addicted.

Later, I recreated the whole episode. Drunk on various types of alcohols I asked my friends to do exactly what swami did on me, it just pained.

I never went back to see him and oxford dictionaries never reminded me of him.

[The first paragraph refers to swami amma and not to abc swami. That leaves me with no option but to continue]

On the seventh day Pathan said, “Without intelligence you can drive, with intelligence better”

Amores Perros (Love’s Bitch) directed by Mexican director Alejandro González Iñárritu is a great movie. The story has three sub-stories interweaved through a car accident. It is a modern day master piece with some riveting visuals including a killing at day light, underground dog fights and a classic erotic scene involving Vanessa Bauche and Gael Garcia Bernal. Mani Ratnam was accused of plagiarism for adopting a similar structured screenplay for his movie Yuva (Ayudha Ezuthu). Guillermo Arriga wrote the screenplay for Amores Perros. Later the director-writer duo made Babel, an English speaking film which I haven’t seen yet.

However, Babel is not the name of a movie.

Babel was a tower which humans tried to build to reach the heaven. Gods frightened by this task made languages and the men who were building Babel started to speak different languages which ended the construction of this magnum opus.

Some times, I wonder that the whole purpose of languages is not to express an idea but to conceal an idea. One can have an entirely discreet emotion in his mind and at the same time look into the eyes of the listener and convey the contrary. Years ago I read some where that even the commonest wish can become the unforgettable dialogue in some one’s life. Just imagine walking into her and looking into her eyes and saying ‘all the best’ at a time when she needs it the most. She have had that wish a thousand times in her life for obvious reasons but it can so happen that she would cherish those few words as the most memorable lines in her life.

Then comes accent. How many types of English are there? Charlotte who is French told me that people from south and north of France speak with different accented French. An intruder into Monica Bellucci’s bedroom in the French movie Combien tu m’aimes? (How much do you love me?) teaches Bellucci the variations in sound that a woman from south and north of France would make while having an orgasm. I have met two Tamilians in my life who told me that I speak the Sri Lankan accented Tamil. Madurai Tamil is more poetic where a wife would call her husband ‘mama’ which means uncle. It is true that to understand North Keralite Malayalam is a tedious task to a South Keralite.

English also falls into the same category above. There are famous stand up comedians to whom mimicking the accent earn their bread.

It was an early morning in Dubai. Flying back from Munich, I hated Dubai for various reasons. It was humid and hot compared to the snow I had in Munich. Two weeks of luxurious hotel stay had spoiled me and I had too much wine in veins. I was in a taxi driven by a Pathan (Pak national). I behaved as if I am not interested to have a conversation. There was this pest just in front of our car driving a Nissan Tiida. He kept on changing the lanes for no reasons. The pathan tried to over take and failed. He made a sigh which was meant to invoke the curiosity in the listener and said, “Look, gentle man, without intelligence you can drive, with intelligence better”.

I use Emirates Exchange to send money home but there isn’t one near my home. So I asked the girl at the counter where the other exchanges was to which she said, “near piss market sir”. “What????”.

Well, some Philippinos would pronounce friend as ‘priend’ and the ‘sh’ sound is always ‘ss’. The word fish is a classic case of all the unfavorable situations coming together extra ordinarily to create an impact of mammoth proportions. Fish became piss.

At the end of the day, with or with out accents we live together. With or without grammar we convey what we want to. Isn’t it the point?

What the Italian master actor Giancarlo Giannini said in the movie ‘A walk in the cloud’ comes to rescue, “I speak with an accent but that doesn’t mean that I think with an accent”.

Michael Jackson wasn’t a legend but a pedophile, period.

Definition no. 28 on Michael Jackson at urbandictionary.com is apt. He was a, “Mega-star who was found not guilty of molesting children”.

Every crime is a crime though criminology would grade them on a scale which is unknown to me. This is exactly the reason why a man wouldn’t be slaughtered for man slaughter unless he is living in a primitive judicial system. However, murder would fetch him death in most of the countries. If one would look at the statistics, it is surprising. All most all the states in USA do that. Legally, it is a permissible punishment in India too.

I don’t hail death punishment, even in the rarest of rare cases.

However, I would bend the rules for offences on children. They should be hanged, electrocuted, stoned, gilletted, poisoned; should be killed.

There are two crimes which I consider as most heinous. It is genocide and pedophilia. In both cases the victim falls into a vulnerable category and if they are left to survive they never survive because they just can’t.

I remember reading on genocide at school. We have had enough in past and still haven’t learned any thing. It is pure agony to watch the undercurrents of genocide in Indian politics. Genocide doesn’t take form in one single day. It takes a long time for the mind to get corrupted and I am afraid we in India are moving through that stage. In my opinion, the seeds of genocide are sworn through regionalism and sectarianism. There is no necessity to explain it further.

Pedophilia, watch the movie ‘Bad Education’ [La mala educacion] from the master Pedro Almodovar. This is the most heinous crime. The child at an age of innocence is subjected to carnal pleasures of a pervert. Watch Kinsey, a biopic on Alfred Kinsey a pioneer on human sexuality research.

Alas, life is beyond all these movies. It tells you a story in one hundred and twenty minutes of reel time. The clock in the real time is still clicking. You never knew what happened in the first place. Later in a biology class you understand what happened on you years ago. It is frustration, anger, depression and madness. Then you grow up unable to identify your sexuality. Fortunate are those who can contain themselves and those who would meet that wonderful girl who would say she is sorry. She doesn’t have to say sorry but you feel good. You want to tell her more but she wouldn’t allow you to talk any further. She plants a wonderful kiss on your lips and you taste salty in your mouth. Every one isn’t fortunate, unfortunately. There are serial killers, rapists and even pedophiles among the grown up victims.

Having said this, one can possibly argue to segregate the work of an artist from his personal life. It is true. But haven’t we learned the reasonable restrictions on fundamental freedoms? Further, we aren’t talking about fundamental freedoms at the first place. We are talking about atrocious human right violation.

Thriller was the biggest selling album ever. His discography crossed seven hundred and fifty million, an achievement by any standards. But, that doesn’t bail out him from being a bastard.

Michael Jackson wasn’t a legend but a pedophile, period.

One last question on the conclusive evidences, he was never found guilty. Some argue that it was made up by media and people who are not-so-rich who are keen on other’s money. It can’t be. It is not possible to deduct evidence from a five year old which would suffice the legal intellect of a fifty year old.

There is one bastard waiting in the queue.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968); China Town (1974); The Pianist (2002) are excellent movies but Roman Polanski is an animal of low deeds. He fled USA in early seventies and never returned fearing jail for statutory rape committed on a thirteen year old. He should die and I am ready to sacrifice a piece of art that I would have got had he lived longer. I had enough; I want to see you dead.

I am happy that MJ is dead. I am ecstatic that he got what people call ‘un-timely’ death. It is your karma Michael, you will Rot In Puke.

I wish I had a gun, a bullet and one free murder…

Celebrating twentieth year of dreaming

What does Ram Gopal Varma, Manjari Faddnis, Wasim Akram and Yann Martel have in common? They are all famous people from different walks of life and are my friends in facebook.

Today, while reading RGV’s blog I came across a thought which I always believed in and I have heard that else where too. He said, “I would rather die than not live life the way I want”.

Lately, I have become addicted to excel sheet. Excel sheet per se is a show off. It lacks substance. One put in data and have the choice of manipulating the data the way he want to arrive at a conclusion which suits his prejudiced mind. So, I put in my life into an excel sheet and just realized that I am into my twentieth year of dreaming! As always I am impressed about my self for that!

Is there any down falls for dreaming so long? Yes there is.

I am an evil these days. One of the forwards that I received recently said that if you sleep on your back with your hands tugged behind your head you actually don’t love any one. I never slept like that but now I am learning to.

There are two questions that pester me these days. Question number one, what exactly hinders me from pursuing my dream? Secondly, why the hell am I not seriously considering suicide as an option?

The day I challenged the stars!

I wish I could write this blog.doc in Malayalam.

I am in office on a busy day but I want to do this now. I have some risks on my table which I should finish today and then have to finish some pending work as well. All of these are the most un-creative work on earth. I have to do it as I have no other options.

As per an astrologer I will get married today! In the middle of all these things. My parents went to an astrologer and he having looked at all the stars said that I will get married within May 14, 2009. If I can trust the date on my mobile, my work station, the calendar on my mouse pad and the calendar on my room wall then today is Thursday the 14^th of May and the year is 2009 (please don’t start the crap that I saw in Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock starred Lake House to tell me that it is actually 2074!)

In all the probabilities I don’t see a reason or chance of me getting married today.

I used to believe in all these stuff, astrology, palmistry and things like that until I starved in Australia. There have been days I lived on Lebanese bread. They call it kuboose in Middle East. Brunswick, a suburb in Melbourne is famous for cheap accommodation and considerable Lebanese population. I lived there for more than year during my uni days and cycled to uni which was four kilometers away. There were many Lebanese groceries in Brunswick and they all sold Lebanese bread for two dollars. They were fresh, made in early morning. Lebanese bread doesn’t get spoiled in day but they get harder. So, on the next day they kept the ‘one day old’ bread in a box and sold it for one dollar. I lived on that for quite a long time. A glass of plain water, kuboose and a rollies quenched my hunger. I never saw god there, I never saw stars there and I never encountered luck or destiny there. It was simple economics. There were many people like me which created the demand. There were many Lebanese families who run the bread making industry and that made the supply. If I had a dollar that gave the purchasing power, period.

That was the best lesson that I learned in Australia. Hard work gets you ahead in your life.

The astrologer said that he would stop doing his trade if I don’t get married within the period he said. My parents have seen a girl in Pathanapuram and if eventually I am going to marry her, then every one is going to amend the rules in astrologer’s favor. What if I don’t marry that girl?

I am not trying to crucify any one here. The moment you realize that every one is doing what they doing to earn their bread you rest in peace.

So are you going to have songs in your movies?

Is it me writing this blog? I doubt.

How can I be writing a blog past five posts and haven’t written any thing on cinema? One question that I find hard to answer under any given circumstances is on my favorite movie.

In one of those after dinner sessions mother would ask me about the cinema in my mind and waiting not to listen to my answer would remind me on the importance of ‘family-stories’. You know, the family saga kind of stuff with morals in it. I disagree with her for two reasons. Firstly, don’t intrude into my creative freedom; don’t tell me on what films I should be making. I am being harsh here and she is not happy or rather she is sad. I need to pacify and I say, amma in screen play there is a text book style called ‘linear writing’. It is the format where the boy is born, goes to school, plays his first innings, smokes his first ciggie, drinks his first beer, first kiss and then gets a job. He lives and lives and then lives happily ever after. I am not going to do that. I can’t go to bed when my mother is not happy. Compromise time, I will do one of those kinds one day. But no promises though.

I am having dinner with friends and surfing through the channels and stop at a channel playing film songs. Malayalam songs; and the song on screen for no particular reason ‘show cases’ heroine’s naval button. A rare occurrence in Malayalam cinema in 1990s and early 00s. Are you going to do that? Am I going to do what? To show a belly button? I feel my creative freedom questioned. I make an excuse to leave the dinner table and try to pacify my anger on a cigarette.

Become a blogger and they need to know what sort of movies you like the most. It was funny to note that even matrimonial sites would want to know your movie preferences. Are you telling me that a girl born out of soft porn liking father and action liking mother will do a Paris Hilton when she grows up? I keep quiet, I ignore and move on to the next question.

So are you going to have songs in your movies?

Wake-up and Make-up sex over the weekend

The weekend wasn’t bad. Sorry, it was good.

The funniest comment I ever read on weekend, was in a blog. Googling on a lazy Sunday morning took me to this interesting blog where an English lady summed her weekend in two phrases, “wake-up sex and make-up sex”. I loved it. English are good at humour. They seem to be classy.

Wake-up sex: It was Audrey Tautou who took me to Spanish Apartment. I will write another post on this wonderful actress on some other day, much have to be told. Spanish Apartment, a 2002 French movie originally titled L’auberge espagnole chronicled around a bunch of college students staying together at an apartment. Wasn’t a great a movie but had that French touch to it. I remember one scene from that movie. Romain Duris, Tautou’s boyfriend is driving with his mother. They are going to see mother’s new boyfriend. Mother is old, old as in old as sixty. But she is tensed as to whether her son would like her choice and vice verca. With expressions with the most subtle coding, emphasizing the futility of the whole exercise, she says, “I have heard that Rhinoceros choose their partner and stay with that partner for the rest of their life”.

That was bit of a side track.

Spanish Apartment was huge success. It minted money in Europe and was a smash hit in other parts of the globe too. While in Australia I saw this movie at Nova on a Monday afternoon for five dollars. I know that I am going to step into another side track here, but can’t resist this. Don’t bother about Spanish Apartment but watch The Apartment (L’appartement) a 1996 French movie with Monica Bellucci, Vincent Cassel, and Romane Bohringer. This was later remade into Hollywood as ‘Wicker Park’ in 2004, avoid that.

Back to where we started. Following the huge success the producers including the director teamed up to make a sequel in 2005, Russian Dolls (Les poupees russes). Interestingly, I saw this in Australia too. As I didn’t watch first two episodes of Lord of the Rings in Australia this movie is part of my ‘history’ in Australia. As said earlier Spanish Apartment wasn’t a great movie and so was Russian Dolls. But, not boring at all.

There were two exceptional scenes in this movie. Kevin Bishop an English guy falls in love with a Russian ballet dancer and that triggers a reunion of the flat mates in Russia. They are there for the marriage. To introduce his girl friend Kevin takes the flat mates to an opera house (or where the ballet is played). She isn’t the lead actress; she is just a dancer among the ten other dancers. The friends sitting in the balcony can’t really make out her and to their amusement Kevin says, “can’t you cognize her, she is the second from last and don’t you think she is beautiful”. Well, you need to see it.

At the end, we are on to the point.

I don’t want to say all the story but the point is Romain Duris ends up having a relation ship with Kelly Reilly and there you get to see the best wake-up sex scene in a movie. French and English in bed, the camera movement and Kelly Reilly’s dialogue at the end. I will leave it there for your judgment.

Make-up sex: I hate being a champion of elucidation. However, to make sure that we all are on the same boat, the said phrase refers to that ‘catching up’ thing over the week end. Make-up not as in facial but as in make-up your loss. Only a Brit woman could bring that sarcasm into it .

So where do I stand?

Well, I slept. I finished a vodka (Danzka, produce of Holland, cranberry flavour with chilled cranberry juice and slice of lime shaken) with few friends and ate the biriyani that I made and slept. Then I woke up and had few Passport scotch with lemonade (don’t ask me on the combination, I just hate soft drinks) and slept again. And I dreamed about suicide. Today I am extremely happy and doing great, but I just wanted to tell you that I dreamed suicide this weekend.